i live on the east coast of the united states. i was getting ready to sleep at around 5:00 am eastern time (really late) when all of a sudden i felt this tremor in the ground. there was a passive vibrating and i could feel it through my bed. i could have sworn i heard some faint rumbling. the house alarm beeped a few times afterward. what is going on?
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden he knows he’s hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption he’s so afraid of
Spun from a hate he was supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside his mind
As the panic shakes his conscious blind
And as the trembles settle realizes too late
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
He lay on the floor surrounded in blood
A moment after a blasting thud
The dizziness drowning out the noisy shrieks
Nothing but the sound of his breath and floor creaks
Lazily twitching like a thirsty fish hexed
Frantic of what will happen next
Shark bait at the age of eight
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden he knows he’s hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption he’s so afraid of
Spun from a hate he was supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside his mind
As the panic shakes his conscious blind
And as the trembles settle realizes too late
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
He lay on the floor surrounded in blood
A moment after a blasting thud
The dizziness drowning out the noisy shrieks
Nothing but the sound of his breath and floor creaks
Lazily twitching like a thirsty fish hexed
Frantic of what will happen next
Shark bait at the age of eight
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
With a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The earthquake you’re so afraid of
Spun from something you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your mind
Stirring and shaking your brain blind
Only after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
You lie on the floor surrounded in blood
Two seconds after the sound of a thud
Your dizziness drowning out her noisy shrieks
Only the sound of your breath and the floor creaks
Moments pass and nothing happens
She comes up behind him and gives him some napkins
It’s just another day in this boy’s world of hate
He’s the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
Any criticism or thoughts on changes are appreciated
PS: This is thinkbox08 and I’ve obviously changed the way I went with this.
Please rate this poem 1-100 as harsh as possible and give the most detailed criticism, thanks so much!?
“Son of a Witch”
All in a haste come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions cause explosion
Inventing fear from concrete devotion
With constant tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
As the trembles settle, realizes too late
He’s the earthquake maker, dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a thirsty sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy near a vacant dish
He’s eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
Also guess how old I am.
“The Earthquake Maker”
All in a sudden come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions causing explosion
Inventing fear off from concrete devotion
With steadfast tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
And trembles settle, but realizes too late
He’s the earthquake maker, dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden he knows he’s hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption he’s so afraid of
Spun from a hate he was supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside his mind
As the panic shakes his conscious blind
And as the trembles settle realizes too late
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
He lay on the floor surrounded in blood
A moment after a blasting thud
The dizziness drowning out the noisy shrieks
Nothing but the sound of his breath and floor creaks
Lazily twitching like a thirsty fish hexed
Frantic of what will happen next
Shark bait at the age of eight
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
With a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The earthquake you’re so afraid of
Spun from something you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your mind
Stirring and shaking your brain blind
Only after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
You lie on the floor surrounded in blood
Two seconds after the sound of a thud
Your dizziness drowning out her noisy shrieks
Only the sound of your breath and the floor creaks
Moments pass and nothing happens
She comes up behind him and gives him some napkins
It’s just another day in this boy’s world of hate
He’s the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
Any criticism or thoughts on changes are appreciated
PS: This is thinkbox08 and I’ve obviously changed the way I went with this.
“The Earthquake Magnet”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption you’re so afraid of
Spins in a hate you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your head
As the panic shakes your conscious dead
And after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re an earthquake magnet dealt unlucky fate
Laying on the floor in your own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowns out the noisy shrieks
Now nothing but the smell of your own stench reeks
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
A carpet stain her last memory
“The Earthquake Magnet”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption you’re so afraid of
Spins in a hate you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your head
As the panic shakes your conscious dead
And after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re an earthquake magnet dealt unlucky fate
Laying on the floor in your own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowns out the noisy shrieks
Now nothing but the smell of your own stench reeks
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
A carpet stain her last memory
-thinkbox08
Still not completely done so give your advice for improvement thanks!
“Son of a Witch”
All in a haste come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions cause explosion
Inventing fear from concrete devotion
With constant tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
As the trembles settle, realizes too late
He’s the earthquake maker, dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a thirsty sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy near a vacant dish
He’s eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden he knows he’s hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption he’s so afraid of
Spun from a hate he was supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside his mind
As the panic shakes his conscious blind
And as the trembles settle realizes too late
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
He lay on the floor surrounded in blood
A moment after a blasting thud
The dizziness drowning out the noisy shrieks
Nothing but the sound of his breath and floor creaks
Lazily twitching like a thirsty fish hexed
Frantic of what will happen next
Shark bait at the age of eight
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
“Son of a Witch”
All in a haste come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions cause explosion
Inventing fear from concrete devotion
With constant tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
As the trembles settle, realizes too late
He’s the earthquake maker, dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a thirsty sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy near a vacant dish
He’s eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
“Son of a Witch”
All in a haste come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions causing explosion
Inventing fear from concrete devotion
With constant tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
As the trembles settle, realizes too late
He’s the earthquake maker, dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a thirsty sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy near an empty dish
He’s eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
“The Earthquake Magnet”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption you’re so afraid of
Spins in a hate you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your head
As the panic shakes your conscious dead
And after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re an earthquake magnet dealt unlucky fate
Laying on the floor in your own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowns out the noisy shrieks
Now nothing but the smell of your own stench reeks
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
A carpet stain her last memory
“The Earthquake Maker”
All in a sudden come a flurry of hits
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The expected eruptions causing explosion
Inventing fear off from concrete devotion
With steadfast tremor inside his head
His panic stirs his conscious dead
After trembles settle he realizes too late
An earthquake maker dealt unlucky fate
Lying on the floor in his own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowning out her full intent
There’s nothing left but the smell of resent
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
The carpet stain was her last memory
probably over your heads, lol.
“The Earthquake Magnet”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption you’re so afraid of
Spins in a hate you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your head
As the panic shakes your conscious dead
And after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re an earthquake magnet dealt unlucky fate
Laying on the floor in your own disgust
A moment after a clashing thrust
The dizziness drowns out the noisy shrieks
Now nothing but the smell of your own stench reeks
Lazily twitching like a dried up sunfish
Hopeless like a puppy in an empty food dish
You’re eight years old and mom’s enemy
A carpet stain her last memory
My husband and I both felt our house shutter at about 9:00. Did we have a tremor last night?
When the first quake struck on Tuesday I hadn’t CLUE what was happening, have only been in Cali for 8 months, from WI and never felt the earth move before. I fell and a paper reem fell on top of me in the fax room at work. I was shaking and crying for well over an hour. Now that night no sleep every tremor terrifed me and I was so scared of “The Big One”. Now last night we had a smaller but still very noticable one, and I have had hardly and sleep. Every little aftershock (there has been over 50 in my area!) makes me jump up and panic. I get a lump in my throat, palpitations and shortness of breath. I keep telling myself that now I know what it feels like and am more prepared but as soon as I am feelng better another one comes and I am back in the same state of mind. Any suggestions on how to overcome this horrible panic?
