Please rate my poem 1-100 and give your interpretations and reasoning for rating, thanks in advance!?
Feb 10, 2010
in
Earthquake Questions
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden he knows he’s hit
Like a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The inevitable eruption he’s so afraid of
Spun from a hate he was supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside his mind
As the panic shakes his conscious blind
And as the trembles settle realizes too late
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
He lay on the floor surrounded in blood
A moment after a blasting thud
The dizziness drowning out the noisy shrieks
Nothing but the sound of his breath and floor creaks
Lazily twitching like a thirsty fish hexed
Frantic of what will happen next
Shark bait at the age of eight
He’s an earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
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2 comments
p0oh on February 10, 2010 at 4:11 am
85 maybe.
is it about "he" who always unlucky in his life.
Dondi on February 10, 2010 at 4:11 am
I give it a 40.
For lyrical poetry, the rhyming was a little off, and the tempo was rather messed up. Don’t give up, it will get better as you try more. It always does. Just remember to try harder each time, and to be your own worst critic. Keep it up.