My best poem so far, 1 to 100. Interpretations please thank you!?
“Unlucky”
All of a sudden you know you’re hit
With a pile of falling pissed off bricks
The earthquake you’re so afraid of
Spun from something you were supposed to love
That steadfast tremor inside your mind
Stirring and shaking your brain blind
Only after the trembles settle you realize too late
You’re the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
You lie on the floor surrounded in blood
Two seconds after the sound of a thud
Your dizziness drowning out her noisy shrieks
Only the sound of your breath and the floor creaks
Moments pass and nothing happens
She comes up behind him and gives him some napkins
It’s just another day in this boy’s world of hate
He’s the earthquake maker with an unlucky fate
Any criticism or thoughts on changes are appreciated
PS: This is thinkbox08 and I’ve obviously changed the way I went with this.
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3 comments
~GiRLiE~ on November 30, 2009 at 11:23 am
Honestly…I didn’t get it. I sounded like it had a good flow….but I thought with poetry there’s supposed to be meaning? I’m probably having a blond moment but I just didn’t get it.
funkybannanaz on November 30, 2009 at 11:23 am
its about a guy thats confused and angry and stuff because his girlfriend was seen with another guy??? i dont know, it was a wild guess.
Mc Duff on November 30, 2009 at 11:23 am
gets into a rhythym after a bumpy start —- like trying to’
force a poem out of rhyming words with a vague storyline
of a pity party.